Pregnancy FAQ's

Do I get to choose which family adopts my child?

  • Yes. We will get to know you and what your dreams are for your baby.  We will help you find the family that is the best possible match for you and your baby.  If you are planning an open adoption, the adoptive family may become a big part of your life. Therefore, it is very important that you are well matched. Some of the items we will talk to you about when finding a family are:
    • Race
    • Religion
    • Where they live
    • Whether you are comfortable with a married couple, same sex couple or single parent.
    • How much contact you want in the future
    • How much info you want about your child in the future.
    • How much info you want shared about you.

What if I don’t want to pick the family?

  • That’s okay.  We will get to know you and what you are comfortable with and will pick the family on your behalf.

How much contact will I have, or do I need to have, with my child after the adoption?

  • How often and when you see your child in the future will be agreed upon between you and the adoptive family you choose before the adoption takes place.  Some agreements might be…
    • You meet every year to spend time with your child and the adoptive family.
    • You exchange pictures every three months or twice a year.
    • You have planned times for phone calls with the adoptive family.
    • You keep in touch via email.
    • Or many other options.  There are many options for frequency of contact that we can discuss with you.

How do I know my child went to a good family?

  • Before a family can adopt, they go through extensive background checks and home studies where we ensure they will love and support your child.  The family also goes through intense training in order to learn not just how to be parents, but how to be adoptive parents.  After the child is placed in their home, before the adoption is final, additional home visits are done to observe how the family and child are doing.  If you have an open adoption, you will be a part of the family’s life and you will be able to see firsthand how the child is doing.  

I need help paying my rent and bills.  Can the adoptive family help?

  • Yes.  State laws differ on what can be paid for by an adoptive family.  Generally, while you are pregnant and during post partum recovery they can pay for some of your living expenses, including food, housing, transportation, utilities and medical care.

What rights does the baby’s father have?

  • A father always has rights to his child.  The steps that a father has to take to exert his parental rights is different in every state.  If a father has expressed interest in being a part of his/her life, this is something that must be discussed with your personal pregnancy advocate.  She can help you come up with a plan to talk to him, or even talk to him with you about what is best for all of you.  He can be as involved in the counseling process as he wants to be, personal pregnancy advocates are here to support and help him with decision making as well.   

What if I don’t know who the baby’s father is?

  • There are simple legal procedures in place to handle situations such as this.  Don’t worry; we will help you through it.  No one will judge you or your situation.  

What if the birth father and I aren’t talking or I don’t know where he is?

  • Your personal pregnancy advocate can work with you on a specific plan to meet your needs. That plan may involve  you or the agency staff talking to him - every situation is different.  If you don’t know where he is, there are legal procedures in place.  Your personal pregnancy advocate are well versed in the applicable laws, and can take care of these procedures for you .

If I choose adoption, how long do I have to change my mind?

  • The decision to choose adoption is not easy.  However, your personal pregnancy advocate will help you become confident in your decision. During the decision-making process, she will remind you that your time at the hospital may be tiring, emotional and stressful – this is not the time to make life choices.  However, this does not mean that your decision is legally final.  The amount of time before the adoption is final depends on the state you live in.  Your personal pregnancy advocate will be able to answer this for you based on location.

What will my child know about me?

  • No matter what type of adoption you choose, most adoptive families want to be able to share as much information as possible about YOU with the child.  They want to know about the amazing person that you are!  They may ask you for pictures to share with the child regularly.  Only you know what you are comfortable sharing.     You may choose an open adoption where your child may know who you are and see you often.  You may choose a semi-open adoption where your child may know who you are but have less contact.  You may choose a closed adoption where your child will have no contact with you unless they choose to find you when they reach adulthood.  What the child knows about you is dependent upon what you choose to share.  To see more detailed info on the different types of adoption, please contact your personal pregnancy advocate or review the Types of Adoption section of this website.

How much does it cost to place my baby for adoption?

  • You don’t pay a dime.  All expenses will be covered by the adoptive family.

Can I hold my baby after he/she is born?

  • Yes…if that’s want you want but you don’t have to.  Before you give birth, your personal pregnancy advocate will talk to you about how you want things to be at the hospital.  She will ask you questions and form a hospital plan that will be shared with your doctor and hospital staff to ensure things are done the way you want them.  Your personal pregnancy advocate will be with you at the hospital to see that YOUR PLAN goes YOUR WAY when the time comes.

Can I name my baby?

  • Yes.  It’s not uncommon for a birth mom to name her baby and this will be the name on the baby’s birth certificate.  Adoptive families do have the right to change the child’s name later in the adoption process if they choose.  Sometimes birth parents and adoptive parents choose a name together.  

How do I tell my parents/family and/or the baby’s father that I’m pregnant?

  • Every relationship is unique so there is no easy answer to this question.  Your personal pregnancy advocate can discuss your relationships with you to determine the best way to share this news with your loved ones.

I’m under 18 years old.  Now what?

  • You are legally a minor, but you are still a parent.  You have the same legal rights as any adult when it comes to decisions about your child.  However, if you are living at home, your family may have strong influences if they are source of financial or emotional support for you.  

What happens while I’m in the hospital?

  • Prior to going to the hospital, you will discuss with your personal pregnancy advocate who you want at the hospital, when you want the adoptive family notified, etc.  Your personal pregnancy advocate’s goal is to carry out this plan.

Does my baby go into foster care before going home with the adoptive family?

  • No.  If you’ve picked an adoptive family, the baby will generally go home with the family you selected.

What if I choose adoption and then change my mind?

  • When you get to the point of deciding that adoption is what you want, your decision will no longer just affect you and your baby.  Once a family is chosen and involved you must also think about how your decisions will affect them.  Ultimately, you have to make the decision that you can live with.  If parenting is that decision, your personal pregnancy advocate will help you connect with the necessary resources to be the best parent you can be.   

Can I get any mementoes from my child’s birth?

  • Yes.  It’s common to ask for footprints, a copy of the birth certificate, pictures and/or a lock of hair.  If you want something to remember your child’s birth, we can make that happen.

What if I have questions about the adoption process?

  • You can call, text or email us at any time.  If you have not worked with a personal pregnancy advocate yet, contact Coleen.

I placed my baby for adoption and now I’m sad.  What do I do?

  • Feeling sad is a normal feeling.  First, you may be experiencing hormonal changes after giving birth.  Secondly, you may feel sad at different points in your life.  We are always here for you!  Throughout your pregnancy, we will help you understand the long term emotions that go along with making this decision.  We will prepare you for the typical reactions at various stages of your life.  You can call, text or email us at any time.  If you’ve lost your personal pregnancy advocate’s contact info, contact Coleen.