By Megan Kostraba

Choosing adoption is a difficult decision for any birth parent! Adoption is intimidating, challenging, and can even be nerve-wracking. It’s no easy decision to make—birth parents spend a lot of time considering all of their options before getting to adoption. Even then, they have to make sure that adoption is the best choice for them as well as their child. Every birth parent will face a different adoption. Meaning there are no two adoptions that are alike! Each team of birth parents will want different things in their adoption and will display different concerns. What one family looks for in an adoption will not match what another family does. 

Reaching Out to An Agency 

One of the reasons birth parents reach out to adoption agencies in South Dakota, North Dakota, and Nebraska is so that they can have a guide throughout their adoption plan. Adoption is a difficult process, especially alone. At All About U Adoptions, we want to remind birth parents that they do not have to be alone! 

As a licensed adoption agency located in South Dakota, North Dakota, and Nebraska, we offer full support for our birth parents. We can help you:

• Carry out and create YOUR adoption plan 
• Give unwavering focus to birth mothers and help empower them 
• Provide financial assistance 
• Choose the right adoptive family for your child 
• Help with post-adoption placement and support 
• Help you understand how adoption functions 

Think about the services that you deserve while we talk about five common challenges birth parents face during adoption! 

Reaching Out For Adoption Support 

What’s important to remember is that when you choose adoption, you are accepting everything that follows. Adoption can be mentally and physically exhausting! There is a lot to process at once, and understanding your feelings can be very difficult. Grief, guilt, loss, regret, relief—it all flies at you at once. 

There is no shortcut to healing, either. Healing from adoption takes a lot of time and energy, as well as dedication. While there is no one way to heal, we do recommend seeking out support for yourself. Whether that support is through an agency, friends and family, or a support group, finding it is integral to the adoption process. 

You might find that you need help expressing your emotions or even understanding where they come from. To move on to the next journey of your life, addressing the concerns and worries you have is necessary. Carrying on lingering or unresolved feelings from your adoption can be detrimental. This is why finding and reaching out for support is a top priority. 

Dispelling the Misconceptions on Adoption 

There are a lot of misconceptions that follow adoption. As you can guess, adoption used to be a pretty taboo subject in our society. Adoption was seen as a shameful act that should be kept  secret. Nowadays, however, we are more open about choosing adoption! Adoption is a modern choice in society and  an idea that we are familiar with. 

While this may be true, there will still be some people in the world who have opinions about your adoption. They may say that you are “giving up on your child,” when they couldn’t be more wrong. When facing these stereotypes and misconceptions, you have to remember why you are choosing adoption. Your reasons are valid and stem from the unconditional love you have for your child! 

Dealing with Concerns and Worries for Your Child During Adoption

Just because you are choosing adoption does not mean that you will ever stop caring for your child. In fact, you will probably worry about their well-being and may even think about them often. Understanding the role you will play in your child’s life as a birth parent is extremely difficult. While motherhood might be something you want to experience, you have to accept that your child will grow up within an adoptive family. 

This is why open adoption is a choice that many birth parents choose. An open adoption is one where you can still have contact with your child. This decision has to be agreed upon by both parties (birth parents and adoptive parents), but it can ease any worry you may have about your child! Contact can be made through video calls, texts, photo sharing, emailing, and other options. 

Making the Decisions Regarding Adoption 

Making the final choice to place your child for adoption takes a long time. There is a lot of hesitation during this decision-making process, as you also have to be self-reflective. Is adoption right for you? What are your other opinions? Are you making the right choice for your child? The decision is very intimidating! 

The best thing you can do for yourself is to remember why adoption is the best choice for yourself and your child. Choosing adoption means choosing a safe and loving home for your child—it is a goal we all share. 

Facing the Aftermath and Moving On After Adoption 

Knowing where to go next after your adoption is a struggle. You might not feel ready to move on to your next chapter in life, and that’s okay! There is no rush when it comes to healing. However, you do have to take care of yourself so that you can, eventually, face what comes next. Adoption can be a long, arduous process. It might even feel like a whole lifetime. Changing your mindset to focus on yourself and your life can be very difficult. However, now you have to put yourself first and take things one step at a time! 

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and are looking for some guidance, reach out to us at All About U Adoptions. We can help you face these challenges together.