Commonly Asked Questions

Are You Pregnant?

Need Help Making A Decision?

Having unanswered questions is stressful at any point in life but especailly if you are facing an unplanned pregnancy. Knowing what questions to ask and what options are available is difficult. For this reason, we’ve compiled a list of commoly asked questions we get asked when it comes to placing your baby for adoption or deciding to parent.

Pregnancy FAQS

Do I Get To Choose Which Family Adopts My Child?

Yes. We will get to know you and what your dreams are for your baby. We will help you find the family that is the best possible match for you and your baby. If you are planning an open adoption, the adoptive family may become a big part of your life. Therefore, it is very important that you are well matched. Some of the items we will talk to you about when finding a family are:

  • Race
  • Religion
  • Where They Live
  • What Type Of Family You Want (Married, Single, Etc.)
  • How Much Contact You Want in the Future
  • How Much Info You Want About Your Child in the Future
  • How Much Info You Want Shared About You
What If I Don’t Want To Pick The Family?

That’s okay. We will get to know you and what you are comfortable with and will pick the family on your behalf.

How Much Contact Will I Have, or Do I Need To Have, With My Child After The Adoption?

How often and whether or not you see your child in the future will be agreed upon between you and the adoptive family you choose before the adoption takes place. Some agreements might be…

  • You meet every year to spend time with your child and the adoptive family.
  • You exchange pictures every three months or twice a year.
  • You have planned times for phone calls/video calls with the adoptive family.
  • You keep in touch via email or social media.
  • Or many other options that we can discuss with you.
How do I know my child went to a good family?

Before a family can adopt, they go through extensive background checks and home studies where we ensure they will love and support your child. The family also goes through intense training in order to learn not just how to be parents, but how to be adoptive parents. After the child is placed in their home, before the adoption is final, additional home visits are done to observe how the family and child are doing. If you have an open adoption, you will be a part of the family’s life and you will be able to see firsthand how the child is doing.

I need help paying my rent and bills. Can the adoptive family help?

Yes. State laws differ on what can be paid for by an adoptive family. Generally, while you are pregnant and during postpartum recovery they can pay for some of your living expenses, including food, housing, transportation, utilities and medical care.

What rights does the baby’s father have?

A father always has rights to his child. The steps that a father has to take to exert his parental rights is different in every state. If a father has expressed interest in being a part of his/her life, this is something that must be discussed with your personal pregnancy navigator. She can help you come up with a plan to talk to him, or even talk to him with you about what is best for all of you. He can be as involved in the counseling process as he wants to be, personal pregnancy navigators are here to support and help him with decision making as well.

What if I don’t know who the baby’s father is?

There are simple legal procedures in place to handle situations such as this. Don’t worry; we will help you through it. No one will judge you or your situation.

What if the birth father and I aren’t talking or I don’t know where he is?

Your personal pregnancy navigator can work with you on a specific plan to meet your needs. That plan may involve you or the agency staff talking to him – every situation is different. If you don’t know where he is, there are legal procedures in place. Your personal pregnancy navigator are well versed in the applicable laws, and can take care of these procedures for you .

If I choose adoption, how long do I have to change my mind?

The decision to choose adoption is not easy. However, your personal pregnancy navigator will help you become confident in your decision. During the decision-making process, she will remind you that your time at the hospital may be tiring, emotional and stressful – this is not the time to make life choices. However, this does not mean that your decision is legally final. The amount of time before the adoption is final depends on the state you live in. Your personal pregnancy navigator will be able to answer this for you based on location.

What will my child know about me?

No matter what type of adoption you choose, most adoptive families want to be able to share as much information as possible about YOU with the child. They want to know about the amazing person that you are! They may ask you for pictures to share with the child regularly. Only you know what you are comfortable sharing. You may choose an open adoption where your child may know who you are and see you often. You may choose a semi-open adoption where your child may know who you are but have less contact. You may choose a closed adoption where your child will have no contact with you unless they choose to find you when they reach adulthood. What the child knows about you is dependent upon what you choose to share. To see more detailed info on the different types of adoption, please contact your personal pregnancy navigator or review the Types of Adoption section of this website.

How much does it cost to place my baby for adoption?

$0. Our services are free to YOU.

Can I hold my baby after he/she is born?

Yes…if that’s what you want, but you don’t have to. Before you give birth, your personal pregnancy navigator will talk to you about how you want things to be at the hospital. She will ask you questions and form a hospital plan that will be shared with your doctor and hospital staff to ensure things are done the way you want them. Your personal pregnancy navigator will be with you at the hospital to see that YOUR PLAN goes YOUR WAY when the time comes.

Can I name my baby?

Yes. It’s not uncommon for a birth mom to name her baby and this will be the name on the baby’s birth certificate. Adoptive families do have the right to change the child’s name later in the adoption process, if you are comfortable with that. Sometimes birth parents and adoptive parents choose a name together.

How do I tell my parents/family and/or the baby’s father that I’m pregnant?

Every relationship is unique so there is no easy answer to this question. Your personal pregnancy navigator can discuss your relationships with you to determine the best way to share this news with your loved ones.

I’m under 18 years old. Now what?

You are legally a minor, but you are still a parent. You have the same legal rights as any adult when it comes to decisions about your child. However, if you are living at home, your family may have strong influences if they are source of financial or emotional support for you.

What happens while I’m in the hospital?

Prior to going to the hospital, you will discuss with your personal pregnancy navigator who you want at the hospital, when you want the adoptive family notified, etc. Your personal pregnancy navigator’s goal is to carry out this plan.

Does my baby go into foster care before going home with the adoptive family?

No. If you’ve picked an adoptive family, the baby will generally go home with the family you selected.

What if I choose adoption and then change my mind?

When you get to the point of deciding that adoption is what you want, your decision will no longer just affect you and your baby. Once a family is chosen and involved you must also think about how your decisions will affect them. Ultimately, you have to make the decision that you can live with. If parenting is that decision, your personal pregnancy navigator will help you connect with the necessary resources to be the best parent you can be.

Can I get any mementoes from my child’s birth?

Yes. It’s common to ask for footprints, a copy of the birth certificate, pictures and/or a lock of hair. If you want something to remember your child’s birth, we can make that happen.

What if I have questions about the adoption process?

You can call, text or email us at any time.  If you have not worked with a personal pregnancy advocate yet, contact Coleen.

I placed my baby for adoption and now I’m sad. What do I do?

Feeling sad is a normal feeling. First, you may be experiencing hormonal changes after giving birth. Secondly, you may feel sad at different points in your life. We are always here for you! Throughout your pregnancy, we will help you understand the long term emotions that go along with making this decision. We will prepare you for the typical reactions at various stages of your life. You can call, text or email us at any time. If you’ve lost your personal pregnancy navigator’s contact info, contact Coleen.

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Adoption FAQS

Are you interested in adoption, but have questions you need answered? Below we’ve answered many of the questions that we are frequently asked. If you don’t find the answer you’re looking for please contact us and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. 

How much does adoption cost?

Costs can vary for each adoption depending on if the birthmother needs help with living or medical expenses. Your adoption social worker can explain the details of the fees. Your social worker will also understand your financial position well enough to present you with potential birth mothers that are truly potentials. You will always know the adoption budget for each potential birth parent you are presented with through All About U Adoptions.

What if I don’t want to pick the family?

I’m worried about the birthparent changing their mind. How long does it take for termination of parental rights?

What is a homestudy?

Birth families want to know that they are placing their baby into a safe, financially stable and loving home. The purpose of the homestudy is for us to explore all of these areas and help you prepare for your life as adoptive parents. Our agency will follow relevant state laws pertaining to adoption homestudies. Your homestudy will be completed by a licensed professional.

How do I prepare for a homestudy visit?

Be yourself. We know houses aren’t spotlessly clean all the time. We don’t expect you to be perfect. The best way to go through a homestudy is to be yourself and show us what “normal” life is like for you.

Do you visit and observe my family after we have the child?

Yes. Every parent bringing home a child may have visions of a smooth and harmonious transition. That’s not always reality. As part of the requirements to finalize the adoption, we will be scheduling post placement visits from time to time to explore how things are going. If you are experiencing challenges adjusting to adoptive parenthood, we’ll help you through them. These post placement visits further reassure the birth parent(s) that the child is being taken care of.

How do birth parents select a family?

Birth parents are given profiles of adoptive families who meet their general considerations. However, there is no easy answer as to what exactly what makes them choose the family they choose. Each birth mom has different ideas of what they want their child’s life to be like. You may be picked because of where you live, what you do for a living, because you don’t have other children or because you DO have other children. She may see one little thing that strikes a chord with her and causes her to pick you. The best advice we can give is be yourself so that any interaction you have with her will be genuine.

How many adoptions has All About U Adoptions completed?

All About U Adoptions has placed hundreds of children in adoptive homes. On any given year, there may be as few as 15 placements, or as many as 25. Every child, every birthparent and every adoptive family has a special place in the heart of All About U Adoptions. None of them are considered just a number.

What if a birth family isn’t selecting us?

This is the part where having patience and faith come into play. The more restrictions (gender, race, exposure to substances, openness) you place on what birth mother situations you will consider, the longer you may wait to find that perfect match. If you are open to most situations and still not getting selected, your adoption mentor can discuss what the cause may be and what options to consider.

Where are you located?

We have business offices in Milbank, South Dakota; Marion, South Dakota; Burlington, North Dakota; Lincoln, and Nebraska. Our staff have home offices in Freeman, SD, Marion, SD; Sioux Falls, SD; Lincoln, NE; and Minot, ND. Because of the needs of our clients, we will travel to you. You do not need to come to our offices, unless it is most convenient for you.

You are licensed in SD, ND, and NE. What does that mean?

We are licensed to conduct all adoption services in SD, ND and NE. Should you live in a different state or the birthmother is from a state other than SD, NDor  NE that’s okay! We can still assist you with your desire to grow your family through adoption by connecting you to services in that state. For questions/concerns about state licensing information please contact relevant state staff.

Do we have to travel to your office to meet?

No. You can if you want to but generally we travel to meet you at a location that is convenient for you.

How long does it take to be selected by a birth mom?

We really can’t guarantee you a match within a set amount of time because we never know what a birth mom will be looking for in an adoptive family. We work hard to find a birth mother for you even if that means working with another trusted agency. It is our goal to have a match for you within two years of homestudy approval. However, this is NOT a guarantee, but a goal.

How do we get started?
How long do we have to wait to get into the All About U Adoptions program?

We work one-on-one with each of our families so you will not be waiting for an informational session.  You can start working through our program as you determine whether or not our team is the right fit for you, and we determine if we will be able to help fulfill your dreams of parenthood.

How long until we can get a homestudy?

We can start the homestudy process as soon as you are ready. Our homestudy process is self-paced and primarily conducted in your home.  

How long until we have baby in our arms?

Our goal is to have a match within two years, but this is not a promise or a guarantee. It is a goal we work tirelessly to achieve.  

Will we know if the baby has health issues?

Yes. We share as much medical information as we have with you. Anything we know, you will know. We can’t guarantee we’ll have 100% of all the information, just as if you were pregnant. There can always be surprises. We strongly encourage our birth mothers to get prenatal care, but that is not always possible for them. We will share all of this information with you on a case by case basis.  

Will we know if the birth mom has abused substances during her pregnancy?

Yes.  If she discloses this information to us, you will be made aware of it.  If medical testing finds the information, you will be made aware of the result of this information.

Will you work with us even though we are signed up with another agency?

Potentially, please contact us to discuss your needs.This will vary on a case-by-case basis.

What if we’ve started with you and find a birth mom somewhere else?

Our primary focus is fulfilling your desire to become adoptive parents.  Should you work with us and find a birth mom via a different agency, we will rejoice with you.

Who is eligible to adopt?

Demographic requirements:

  • Married couples
  • Single individuals
  • Must be 21 years of age or older
  • No criminal history involving violence or crimes against children or felony convictions
  • No substantiated reports of abuse and neglect against children or adults
  • If you have specific questions/concerns about your eligibility to adopt, please discuss this with your adoption social worker during an initial phone call. 
Can we select the gender/race of the child?

Considerations about the type of child you are open to adopting are personal and unique for each family. The more criteria you place on the child you are willing to adopt, typically the longer the process will take for a match and placement. Sometimes is it not possible to meet all requests. 

What if I have an issue/concern with AAU?

Our agency prides itself on providing quality services to everyone. If you have concerns, please contact a member of AAU staff for the agency grievance procedures. 


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