By Megan Kostraba
Adoption is a complex and modern-day concept that many people have accepted and are open to. However, to this day, there are still misconceptions and untrue beliefs that are held against birth parents and adoption in general. These stereotypes make it difficult for birth mothers to move on in life post-adoption and continue the lingering negative connotation that adoption holds.
At All About U Adoptions, we want to help birth parents and mothers realize that the misconceptions that surround their lives are untrue! Adoption is a wonderful and selfless act that not only supports the birth mother and child but gives another wanting family a miracle of joy.
Throughout the adoption process, birth parents have to handle a lot of stress, emotion, and decision-making. It can seem intense and intimidating! We understand that. We know that thinking of all these options while also dealing with the misconceptions that surround adoption can be difficult to handle. It can be even harder if you’re choosing adoption on your own. Let’s talk about what these stereotypes are and how birth mothers experience adoption altogether.
What Are the Common Misconceptions?
People like to hold a lot of opinions when it comes to the topic of adoption, even those who haven’t experienced it themselves. Adoption used to be a taboo subject in our society and was something most people tried to keep a secret. Adoption was looked at as a shameful and disgraceful act. Now, in our modern-day world, adoption is more open and does not need to be kept a secret. As a society, adoption is accepted by most and no longer shares the taboo quality it used to.
However, people still withhold some of the stereotypes that follow adoption. Some of these misconceptions can include:
- Birth mothers are mostly teenagers
- Birth parents are “giving up” on their child
- Birth parents who choose adoption are selfish
- Birth parents don’t want any relationship with their child
- Birth mothers who choose adoption are women who don’t want children
Each of these opinions is hurtful and wrong. They paint birth mothers and birth parents overall in a bad light and make adoption seem like a selfish act. In reality, adoption is a selfless act. It is prioritizing your child over your own needs, wants, and desires. Some birth mothers do want children and to experience motherhood, but an unplanned pregnancy is not something we can prevent.
Women have faced unplanned pregnancies in the past and will only continue to do so in the future. Adoption is an available option for these reasons! We need to help encourage mothers to choose adoption, not discourage them by repeating and believing in these misconceptions.
Why Birth Mothers Choose Adoption
Adoption is the process in which a child is not raised by their biological parents but by an adoptive family. This is a legal agreement between both parties, as the child becomes a legal member of the adoptive family. Adoption is a hefty process to go through, but many women have chosen it as their best choice!
Placing your baby for adoption is a big and difficult decision—one that takes a lot of time to think about. Birth mothers all come from different walks of life and will choose different ways to conduct their adoption process. No adoption is the same. Some women choose adoption due to financial status, medical issues, lack of support, facing hardships, personal goals, and unsupportive family. Some women also have the overall desire to give a child a better life by choosing adoption. This realization is not easy to come to, as you have to accept that you might not be able to provide for your child. Birth mothers have to be okay with the fact that their child can thrive and have better opportunities with an adoptive family.
How Does A Birth Mother Experience Adoption?
Adoption is one of the hardest experiences for a woman to have. Most private adoption agencies offer counseling and support services for this reason. Adoption is an emotional journey—there is no way around this. Choosing adoption means accepting that you will need a healing period of time to recover from all that you have experienced on your adoption journey. Birth mothers and parents feel emotions like loss, grief, guilt, remorse, and relief. Handling this process while also pregnant is very stressful for just a single person.
Finding support for yourself is integral to the adoption journey. You might need help expressing and navigating all of your lingering and conflicting feelings. There is nothing wrong with asking for help!
Birth Mothers in the Modern World
Birth mothers are brave, courageous, and strong. Making the adoption choice is an inspiring one and requires a lot of critical thought. The misconceptions about adoption could not be more wrong, as a birth mother’s choice of adoption always stems from a place of love for their child. Birth mothers and adoption agencies have the same goal—to find a caring and supportive family who will love your child unconditionally.
If you are considering adoption or want to know more about how you can dispel adoption stereotypes, reach out to our office. At All About U Adoptions, we can work on changing these misconceptions, one step at a time.
