Momma From Trauma

That quote has stuck in my mind for years. Why?? I am an adult who is still recovering from my childhood. I am now 30 years old. I grew up as an adopted child through the foster care system until I was 14 years old. For the first half of my life, I lived in fear of abuse by the hands of the people who took an oath to love me as their own.

I never imagined adoption for my children due to my own fear of my past. However, that same past was what kept me from being able to be the mother I wanted to be. I placed my children for adoption not because I didn’t love them, but because I wanted to protect them from the statistics. I worked multiple jobs. I could barely take care of myself, let alone a child. I wish I could say I was a perfect mom, but I was far from it. I struggled with bonding, getting up all hours of the night, anger management, the basics of just being able to provide from them and myself. I felt like I was stuck in a revolving door.

Making the decision to place my children was not easy. My main focus and purpose were not only being able to give people the opportunity to become a family but to break the cycle and give them (my children) the life I knew I never could. I want to see them grow up, have an opportunity and stability, love, nurture, family element and be able to be healthy successful adults in whatever paths they choose in life.

My life has changed since my adoption route. I am now married. We have one daughter and I own a restaurant. Having my husband in the picture does make a world of difference in raising our little one. He knows my past. He knows my struggles because of my past and is 100% supportive in our little one’s life but also to my adopted children as well.
I pray every day that my children I placed understand the path I chose for them and why.

Adoption should not be looked down upon or viewed as the mother doesn’t or didn’t want the child. Not a single day goes by, I don’t think of them and know I made the right choice for them.

~Momma GA