Dismantling Adoption Misconceptions and the Truth About Choosing Adoption 

Dismantling Adoption Misconceptions and the Truth About Choosing Adoption 

Dismantling Adoption Misconceptions and the Truth About Choosing Adoption 

by Miriam Fuller

Birth mothers deciding to place their baby for adoption often must confront a slew of harmful stereotypes or misconceptions about adoption. These common myths around adoption make birth mothers feel shameful when they choose adoption for their baby. Unfortunately, these harmful misconceptions have been popularized by the media, further harming birth mothers and their children. At All About U Adoptions, we are striving to rewrite these false adoption narratives so that birth mothers can be confident in their adoption journey. We understand how vital it is for birth mothers to know they are supported and cared for in their decisions so that they can have the strength to build a beautiful future for their child.

4 Harmful Myths About Adoption

While there are a multitude of harmful adoption myths, there are four that stand out against the others. These four misconceptions are not just the most popular but are the most damaging to birth parents and their children as they paint incredibly pessimistic pictures of the adoption process. Like most stereotypes, media and Hollywood have amplified these four misconceptions by basing them on false or extremely rare adoption stories. To uplift birth mothers and create a positive environment around adoption, we must dismantle these hurtful narratives. These are the four most significant misconceptions about adoption and why they cause great harm in the world of adoption.

  • Choosing adoption is an easy decision
  • Choosing adoption is giving up
  • Birth mothers choosing adoption do not love their child
  • Birth parents are uninvolved in the adoption process

Myth # 1: Choosing Adoption is an Easy Decision

When people think of birth mothers facing an unplanned pregnancy and choosing adoption, they often picture a simple call to an adoption agency and a quick signing of paperwork. The choice seems simple, easy, and quick. However, this view of adoption is far from the truth and invalidates birth parents’ powerful emotions. Choosing adoption for your child is a life-altering choice. Birth mothers choosing adoption are deciding to change their own future but their child’s as well. Adoption is not a decision made with the snap of a finger. The adoption process takes time and requires a multitude of difficult decisions. Only the bravest parents choose adoption, as it is an emotionally difficult choice to make. However, it is always a selfless and loving decision.

Myth # 2: Choosing Adoption is Giving Up

Many people, birth mothers included, frequently use the term “giving up baby” when they discuss adoption. While this phrase may seem harmless, it perpetuates an incredibly negative tone around adoption. It portrays a birth mother’s choice of adoption as if she is giving up on her child. The phrase makes the mother’s decision appear weak, unloving, and selfish when her choice is truly brave, selfless, and deeply loving. Choosing adoption is never a parent throwing in the towel. It is a parent actively fighting for their child’s future. 

Using the harmful phrase “giving up” invalidates the birth parent’s courageously loving choice and creates a false picture of adoption. At All About U Adoptions, we encourage people to utilize positive adoption language such as “place baby,” or “create an adoption plan” or “choose adoption” so that we can change the negativity around adoption because we understand that choosing adoption is never an act of giving up. 

Myth # 3: Birth Mothers Choosing Adoption Do Not Love Their Child

Due to the negative language around adoption, it is not uncommon for people to believe that birth mothers who choose adoption do so because they do not love their child. This misconception could not be further from the truth. Birth mothers who place their baby for adoption do so because they deeply love and care for their child. Birth mothers choosing adoption set themselves aside and fight for their child’s future, and their actions always come from abundant love. Adoption is always an act of a parent’s selfless love. Saying that choosing adoption is a lack of parental love is incredibly harmful and strips birth parents of their courageously loving choice. 

Myth # 4: Birth Parents are Not Involved in the Adoption Process

The continued false narrative that birth parents choose adoption out of selfishness and cowardice makes most people assume that birth parents are uninvolved during the adoption process. They believe the extent of a birth parent’s work is searching adoption agencies and signing paperwork. This myth detaches and negates birth parents’ difficult decisions that they make throughout the process. In reality, even in emergency adoption, birth parents are heavily involved in creating an adoption plan for themselves and their child. They choose the type of adoption, adoptive family, and whether or not they want a closed or open adoption. Birth parents work alongside adoption agencies to create the best future for their child. 

Believing that birth parents do not have a say in their adoption journey continues the false belief that birth parents choose adoption due to an absence of love, perpetuating a false reality around adoption and birth parents’ deep-seated love. 

Uplifting Birth Parents By Rewriting False Narratives

Our words, actions, and beliefs matter as they set the tone for the environments around us. At All About U Adoptions, we encourage you to consider the misconceptions you may believe about adoption and to begin dismantling them. 

All About U Adoptions strives to pull back the falsely negative curtain society has placed around adoption so that adoption can become an environment of warm support and love. We want to uplift all birth parents in their adoption journey because their choice is always one of selfless love and care. We offer birth parents personalized birth plans, free counseling, and career support even after adoption so that birth parents can feel empowered in their choices throughout the process. 

If you need support along your adoption journey or want to learn more about positive adoption language, contact All About U Adoptions today.

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