I often hear people say, “It must have been a hard decision to place your baby for adoption.” Honestly, that was the easiest decision for me.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was parenting two special needs toddlers and recently became a single parent. Throughout this whole pregnancy, it never felt like I was supposed to parent this little one. It’s hard to put into words, but the good Lord told me in by the way I felt that this baby was meant for someone else. The baby’s biological father wasn’t in the picture and I have my hands full already. I considered my options and ultimately, I chose adoption.
Once my heart was set on adoption, I Googled adoption agencies and came across AAU and chatted with a staff member on their site. From that first conversation, I was all in with them. Within a couple weeks, I met my caseworker Kelsey who I just clicked with right off the bat, even during a pandemic. She asked what I was looking for in terms of adoptive parents. There were three main things I was looking for and still consider important today:
- That I get to have a say in the first or middle name of the child
- That the parents be ALL in if the baby is special needs
- That my baby be loved unconditionally, special needs or not
After a couple of weeks, I received the profile books of three couples. During the first look through, I was drawn to the couple I eventually chose. After looking at all three closely, I chose this couple because they were honest in their profile about not being perfect. I admire that they were willing to put that out there for birth moms to read. I also ultimately chose them because both of their jobs are centered around kids. I also considered the schedules and their ability to work together to take baby to any necessary appointments.
I was able to meet the adoptive family a couple weeks later. We all had “first date jitters” but were very grateful for one another. The couple I chose was ALL in if the baby needed help later; that was so important to me. Especially after I found out that I was the carrier of the gene that was passed onto my children and would likely be passed onto this child as well. This gene is what causes my child’s special needs and would lead to potential special needs for this baby as well. The adoptive family also respected that I wanted to help name this little guy. I got to share the two names that I loved with them: Reagan and Theodore. They chose Theodore because of the meaning of the name, “Gift of God” seemed very fitting for the way 2020 has gone.
Fast forward to the week before my scheduled C-section. I was at my last check up and my blood pressure was high. The doctors started talking about moving my delivery date and I told them that I really wanted the adoptive parents to be there when Theodore was born. My doctor agreed to wait until the next morning so they could be there for the birth of their baby boy. Kelsey and I called the adoptive parents and told them they were going to be parents in the morning and it was time to get in the car!
I couldn’t have chosen a better couple because they have just gone with all the punches this year has thrown at them.
The next morning after the C-section I wanted to reassure them that he was 100% theirs and I wrote a letter to the adoptive parents. In it, I basically said that I carried him, you guys get to parent him, but we all get to love him. It’s funny to this day, even though it’s only been a short time, we still thank each other.
My hopes and dreams for Theo are that he knows that he is wanted, loved and cherished. To live life to the fullest and that he realizes he was an amazing answered prayer to his adoptive parents.